I have just read an article suggesting that a good way to “see ourselves as others see us†is to write about ourselves in the third person. At first I thought …â€hmm schizo†but the author went on to explain that writing about ourselves in the third person takes away that little self-censor that leaps in as soon as we say things to ourselves such as “I think†or “I believe†or “I feel that …†Our little self-censor jumps in to object and add its own little criticism or correction. So - if we speak of ourselves as the third party - that sort of side-steps that self-censoring action.
I’ve decided to give it a try. After all, at the beginning of a new year, what better way to assess the situation than by taking a clear look at who I am.
Daria is a wonderful person. But she is the only one who doesn’t recognise this. She is positive and helpful, compassionate and supportive. She has a great sense of humour, but prefers clever humour to stupidity. The biggest drawback in Daria’s life is the fact that she can’t see. She can’t see how wonderful she is, how good her life is, how she can relax about needing constantly to be proving she is worthwhile. A lot of Daria’s energy goes in thinking up lots of new ways to prove it is worthwhile having her here on the planet. She has reared two wonderful children, who alone could tell her (if she was listening) how much of a “legend†she is.
Face in the Mirror
How would Daria go about helping herself? Get out of her own way.
How would she do that? If she could be convinced that - as she is - without any judgement, validation, questioning at all - she is enough. It is enough. After that everything else is a bonus.
But she is afraid to stop in case that means she is lazy. She is afraid to do too much in case too much is then expected of her. She is afraid of doing too little in case it draws attention to herself. At one and the same time she longs for and dreads acceptance and attention in equal measure. She is afraid of the talents that she has (and they are many), afraid to use them in case they don’t measure up; afraid not to use them because that’s a sin. You can see a lot of her life is based in fear. And so - she is paralysed. Whatever she does it is wrong.
What if she could believe that - whatever she does it is right?