1. Stop doing it to yourself. What do I mean by that? Well, if you’re looking for 5 ways to boost your self-esteem, you must feel that it needs boosting. Which means that, somewhere in your mind, there is a tiny voice telling you you have low self-esteem. This seems like a bit of a catch 22 situation, doesn’t it. But the important thing is to focus on how much self-esteem you already have. Start looking for all the things you have already done brilliantly, succeeded at, achieved. A good way to acknowledge (mainly to yourself) your successes is to journal them. Every night, to wind up your day on a positive note, jot down all the successes you have had during the day. You’re not allowed note the things you didn’t succeed at. Nor are you allowed to look negatively at what you did achieve (i.e. If you walked two miles for your daily exercise, but had hoped to walk farther, your journal should say “I walked two miles as part of my commitment to my increasing good health and fitness” and not “I walked two miles, but really I wanted to walk three but I didn’t have the time …”. How you look at your achievements, both past and ongoing, is a major contributor to your sense of self-esteem.

 

 

2. Change your self-talk. As a continuation of part of point 1, start to notice what your inner voice is saying to you most of the time. Is it positive and encouraging, or is it harsh and critical? Most of us have a little critic that lives in our heads telling us constantly when we are not good enough, not measuring up. Change it. I don’t care whether you visualise bright rays of sunlight melting away the critical voice, or whether you imagine the little voice as a person that you then say goodbye to. You created the little voice (I agree you had help from parents, teachers, “friends”, critics of all sorts) over all the years of your life. But if you created it - you can change it. It’s yours. Take charge of it. Turn it around. Make it work FOR you from this moment on.

 

3. Find someone you admire and copy their attitude. When you want to learn something new, what do you do? If you’re like me, you rush out and buy a book. Good place to start. Read up on the theory. Then when you have covered all the theory, what’s the best thing you can do? Find someone who does it well, and copy what they do. Now, hold on. I don’t mean stalk them! I mean observe them. If it’s someone that you know, ask them. “I really admire the way you seem so confident when you …” (give that speech, make that presentation, whatever). I’d like to talk to you about that because I’d really like to be able to do that in my life (or business, or presentation, or whatever)”. If it’s a famous person, see if they’ve written autobiographies, or books about their particular skills. It’s the next best thing to asking them face to face.

 

4. Stretch yourself. Take some action that moves you out of your comfort zone. If the zone you’re in is not filled with self-confidence, begin to stretch yourself outside that zone to increase the amount of self-esteem you have. It may be scary, uncomfortable and unnerving. That’s ok. That feeling will pass as soon as this new area becomes familiar to you. Everywhere is going to seem new at first. Try to think of it as an exciting new place to go. Think of it as a great new holiday destination. You haven’t been there before, but you know people who have and you just know it’s going to be great!

 

5. Surround yourself with confident people. Get yourself involved with people who have the type of self-confidence that you want for yourself. You will find that you will raise your expectation for yourself. It will seem more normal to you to have a higher level of self-esteem. Think of the opposite. Is it going to help you to hang around with other people who need to build their confidence? No. Because you’re not going to see it, how are you going to learn it? See it. Do it. Be it. And at every step of the way, do like in step 1. keep track of all the successes you have as you progress towards unshakeable self-esteem.