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Monday, February 22nd, 2010
Procrastination is a state of mind that’s a bit like the twilight zone. It’s a behaviour we all know, to some extent. I found this clip today and, sad to say, it is something I TOTALLY understand! Ah, stuff! And getting it done! If you’re a procrastinator, you probably looked at the clip and thought - “That’s really funny”. But why is it funny? Let me tell you - it’s funny because you understand it, because you’ve been there, and because - if you’re watching the clip - then you are watching the animation instead of “getting stuff done”!
We all drag any number of things and actions (always useful and essential things and action, I want to stress) into our day, in place of getting done the things we had actually set out to do in the first place. We have the clean desk, the anti-bac wiped phone and keyboard, the re-sharpened pencils in their holder, the felt tips all tested and the old ones binned … need I go on? You probably have your own favourite.
For me, as a parent, I can always find a “ family” reason why I didn’t get my blog post written. I had to collect my daughter from the station, I had to drop my son to guitar class, I had to shop for the dinner etc. These are all blessed with the special category of “family”, therefore I cannot be blamed for doing them before writing my blog.
What’s really going on here? Yep, I’m trying to justify NOT doing something I’ve already committed to doing. Beyond that, what’s the story? Well - is the thing I’m avoiding necessary? To whom? In what way? To whose benefit? One possibility is that it’s not something I really want to do at all. If that’s the case, why am I doing/avoiding it? Does it comply with my role in some way? (e.g. is it so I’ll be seen as a good/better businesswoman/ coach/worker or - dare I say it - person)? Maybe it’s not something I need to be doing at all.
Or is it something I want to do, in order to have it done, but don’t enjoy the doing of it? What can I do? Maybe I can delegate? Maybe I can do turn-and-turn-about with a colleague/neighbour? Maybe I can offer to exchange my skill in some other area, with someone who has skills in my area of procrastination?
Finally, it may be something I want to do, I need to do it and, in the circumstances, I’m the only one who can do it. At this point, the easiest path is acceptance. “Ok, I have to do this. I don’t enjoy it, but I will enjoy the benefits of having it done. So - as Brian Tracy might say - “Eat that Frog!” Just bite the bullet and do it. Pick the nastiest, most put-off job and start with that. You will feel such a sense of satisfaction and - yes - self-righteous pride when you have it done, that it will make you look forward to the next challenge with more enthusiasm and less procrastination than you have before.
Now I have a frog called “ironing” that I have to go and eat!
Tags: Behaviour, blogging, Coaching, Family, Humour
Posted in Business Coaching, Human Behaviour, Humour, Life Coaching | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
 Marketing
I’m a person who likes to be useful, to be needed. In my own family I would feel positively unloved if I thought my parents, siblings, children, even nieces and nephews - couldn’t rely on me for support and comfort. I don’t quite hijack people in order to help them, but sometimes it comes close!
It’s no surprise then that I’m involved in an area of work that requires me to be of help and support to people. However, as in my personal life, I do draw the line at hijacking people in order to help them.
I was talking to a fellow Toastmaster recently who didn’t know a lot about life coaching, but knew it was becoming a bit of a buzz word. She asked me if I thought she needed coaching. When I asked her how her life was, she said it was fine. She is a wonderfully positive, kind, generous, organised and generally (it seems to me) a very happy woman. I said “What on earth would you need a life coach for?”
It got me thinking about my profession, life coaching. There is a danger out there that people are being encouraged to believe that their lives are unfulfilled, that there is something missing, that they’re not achieving what they might. In order to “sell” the idea of life coaching, there is a more hardline approach of selling the idea that people need it. Clearly this is true in many cases, but certainly not all.
In my line of work, my aim is for my clients NOT to need me! That is the goal of my life coaching. I want them to see that they have control of, and responsibility for, their own lives and choices. I applaud the client who contacts me for coaching when they are in a phase where they need (or would benefit from) a coach; when they want a non-judgemental, supportive person who can question, coax, comfort and challenge them through that phase. I’m delighted when it becomes obvious to both of us that they no longer require regular sessions.
I would not be helping them, or my profession, if I were to hang on to them as a client simply to be my meal ticket. Or if I had attracted them in the first place by convincing my customers that their lives were unfulfilled, just so that I could help them to fulfill imaginary gaps in their lives.
I suggest that people consider life coaching as they would any other trade or profession. When you need a plumber, you call a plumber. When your pipes are fixed, you don’t keep arranging to meet the plumber. When you need a lawyer, you hire one. When your legal requirement is dealt with, you say “Thanks very much” and “Goodbye”. I realise that, even in these professions, there are doomsayers who would try to convince you that you do need more lagging for your pipes, more insulation, to sue your neighbour, to claim against the council etc. You can’t stop this type of marketing, but you can be aware of it.
Immediately I have to step in on my own conversation at this point and declare that I know that most coaches (and other professionals) do not do this. However, you will all be aware of the growing number of ads, e-mails, flyers etc. that try to convince the reader that there is something wrong with the way they are right now. That may not be the case. There is much you can do to help yourself. There are books, CDs, DVDs, free workshops and webinars, all of which can help you “self-coach” (which is something we do every day of our lives, I believe).
Then if, or when, you feel you need an ally, a support, a life coach - that’s the time to investigate who suits you and what programme will help you.
Sorry for having a bit of a rant, but it’s something I feel strongly about in my work. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Tags: Coaching, Goals, Marketing, Toastmasters
Posted in Business Coaching, Human Behaviour, Life Coaching | 1 Comment »
Monday, February 1st, 2010
 Journalling
If I could tell you just one thing that has made a big difference to me in the past year, what would that be? It would be to bring gratitude and appreciation into your life. I don’t mean going out, stopping people in the street and thanking them for being there. Start with yourself.
For the past year I’ve been noting down, at bedtime, the things I’m grateful for throughout my day. This practice sprang from my original routine of noting down achievements from the day. I found that, when I focused on my achievements (no matter how small or seemingly insignificant) it gave my final review of the day a very positive feel to it. Instead of going to bed with an unfinished To Do list in my head, containing all the things I had failed to do during the day, I would go over what I had achieved. Without even trying, or noticing, I discovered that my sleep was more calm and untroubled and I would wake up feeling that I had achieved so much the previous day that it would be easy to tackle lots of new tasks.
When i found that this routine had become second nature, I started to add in the practice of writing down five or six things I was grateful for during the day. Again - it needs to be simple and sincere. Sometimes I just write down “ I am thankful for the sunshine today“, or “I am thankful to be part of a loving family”. It doesn’t have to be “things” to be thankful for, just whatever has helped make the day a good one.
Now when I settle down at night, no matter how many things might have gone wrong during the day, or how many things I could find to complain about or be regretful over, I feel more inclined to let go of the things that have upset me. At the very least I can mentally list the good and the bad and cancel out any bad events in favour of a positive event.
Start doing this right now, and I guarantee that, by the end of the month, you’ll feel a lot brighter getting up in the morning, and sleep a lot more soundly at night. Good luck!
Tags: achievement, daily review, Gratitude, journal
Posted in Feelgood Tasks, Life Coaching, Self Development | 5 Comments »
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