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We are hypnotising ourselves and others all the time, with our repeating patterns of words, actions and beliefs.  In effect we “programme” ourselves.  As Bandler says “We are the only machine that can program itself.  We can set deliberately designed, automated programs that work by themselves to take care of boring, mundane tasks, thus freeing up our minds to do other, more interesting and creative, things.”

“Guide to Trance-formation” is both a textbook and a workbook for self development.  The first section of the book “Patterns of Process and Elicitation” deals with how to discover the way in which we (and others) map our world, i.e. how we represent the world to ourselves through our senses.  This is how we have set up all the programmes we run in our lives, the ones that work and - just as importantly - the ones that don’t.  Bandler‘s book is seasoned with references to Milton Erickson, Gregory Bateson, Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir - all renowned therapists with whom Bandler worked to discover how they achieved the successful results they did.

In Bandler’s opinion there are three steps to “making enduring change: (i) People must become so sick of having the problem that they decide they really want to change (ii) They have to somehow see their problem from a new perspective or in a new light (iii) New and appealing options must be found or created, and pursued.”

The text will be equally intriguing for those who have studied Bandler previously and those who are new to him.  It sparked my curiosity, so that I felt like finding out more and reading books Bandler referenced in “Guide to Trance-formation”.  Even though I have no formal training in hypnosis, the exercises are simple and straightforward and I found myself wondering whether it was possible to be hypnotised just by reading it!  I’m guessing Yes, since we are often influenced by what we read, so why not in this instance?

The exercises in this (first) sectionof the book are:

• ·         Changing Feelings by Dissociation
• ·         Identifying Your Sensory Preferences
• ·         2 exercises each on the Meta Model and the Milton Model
• ·         Stealing a Skill
• ·         The Visual Squash
• ·         Foolproof Planning
• ·         The NLP Spelling Strategy
• ·         Getting Things Done
• ·         2 exercises in Submodality Change
• ·         Swish Pattern
• ·         Belief-Change Pattern

The second section of the book “Patterns of Induction” is about developing and improving the skills of hypnosis.  It gives examples, stories and exercises on how to use language very specifically, how to use the voice - tone, depth, rhythm etc. , stories-within-stories and other skills to induce an altered state in the subject (yourself or someone else), a state in which you (or they) are more open to change.  In Bandler’s words “Whenever you are communicating with other people, be aware that words are power, and the way in which you use words has to be as precise as the results you desire.”

The exercises in the second section are very specific to inducing, deepening and maintaining trances or altered states. 

• ·         Using signs of developing trance
• ·         Creating Inductions
• ·         Toning Inflection
• ·         Using Truisms to Induce Hypnosis
• ·         Overlapping to Increase Skills
• ·         Overlapping to Induce Trance
• ·         Previous Trance Induction
• ·         The Handshake Interrupt
• ·         Stacking Realities
• ·         Nested Loops
• ·         Hot Button/Cool Button
• ·         Advanced Synesthesia Change Pattern

In section three “Patterns of Utilization” covers the uses of the skills learned in the book, to create a better way of thinking and being in our lives, in short - to make us feel better.  According to Bandler “you just need to know how to get good feelings to replace the old ones - or, even better, to drop them in to what happens just before you feel bad, so you start to go down a new pathway.”  The chapters of this section deal with creating a better reaction now, to events that caused us trauma in the past.  If we are still suffering from issues in our past, it is not because the problem keeps happening, but because we have formed a response to it that keeps us stuck in that negativity.  Using the exercises in this section can help us change the way we feel about past traumas, overcome our phobias, stop blocking ourselves and start taking positive action.

Exercises in section three:

• ·         How Much Pleasure Can You Stand?
• ·         Fast Phobia Cure
• ·         Putting a New Spin on the Past
• ·         Overcoming Hesitation
• ·         Going over Threshold
• ·         Installing Positive Memories

Section four is a set of transcripts of client sessions with Richard Bandler.  The text of the session is printed on the left hand side of the page and the analysis of the language patterns is printed on the right.  I found it too confusing to try to read both together on my first reading of this format.  So I read through the transcript of just the dialogue, as it would have flowed in speech.  I found it was worth reading the script through first, before reading the analysis, partly to see what patterns I could identify myself and partly to let the script flow as it would have done in the live session.

Overall I found the book a very useful combination of textbook and workbook.  It is something worth reading once for interest, a second time to try out any/all of the exercises and, after that, any time you want to reference Bandler’s work on trances, their analysis, uses and effects.

Tags: Change, Creativity, hypnosis, NLP
Posted in Beliefs & Values, Creativity, Human Behaviour, NLP, Self Development | 2 Comments »

Self Development is always an option

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

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Self Development & Personal Growth

A time of great change.  But it could also be an opportunity for self development.

 

Schools are back.  Children are preparing for the academic year ahead.  Colleges are cranking up in preparation for the new college semester.  Everything is in a state of change.

 

It’s a time of schedules, timetables, books, uniforms and new shoes.  It is often a time of anxiety.  It can be difficult to adjust to the changes in our families that come about when a young child starts school, or an older child starts college.  It is not only a time of great change for them, but it has an impact on every member of the household.

 

However, despite the anxiety and upheaval that major change may bring, we can choose to see it as a chance to develop and educate ourselves in new areas too.

 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found myself quite divided about the arrival of term-time.  On the one hand I’m delighted to have a bit of structure and routine returned to my life.  On the other hand, I love the lie-ons during the summer.  I love the openness and possibilities of the days.  But by the time September comes, I’m ready to shelve all that for another year!

 

I start looking through the lists of courses available in my locality.  What will I do this year?  How will I further develop myself?  It’s a time for me, a time for me to focus on my own personal development.

 

Of course, when I say personal development, I don’t mean that the course I choose has to be based on, or called, self development.  No matter what the subject matter of the course it will give me a chance to develop in some area of my life.  Over the years I have done classes in pottery, drama, yoga, creative writing, french, flower arranging, singing, art and probably others I’ve forgotten already!

 

They have stretched me in directions I would not have expected.  They have challenged me to develop my potential in creative areas I wouldn’t have approached before.  Taking up new activities has, over the years, given me a chance to meet up with other like minded people and develop new friendships and acquaintances.  And - like children starting in school - I too have felt anxious at the beginning.  I have tried to talk myself out of joining.  I’ve tried to find supportive friends to come along with me.

 

And in the end I am always glad that I joined up.  It’s like guerilla self-development!  You start out learning flower arranging and wake up to discover that you’ve learned how to organise your time (to attend the class); control a budget (have you seen the price of fresh flowers!); meet & engage with new people; develop your creativity; enhance your home decor and probably even more besides.

 

So - although it doesn’t say all that on the brochure for classes in your neighbourhood - why not give it a try this September.  You never know where it will take you!

 

Tags: Creativity, Personal Development, Self Development
Posted in Creativity, Motivation, Self Development | 6 Comments »

Best WordPress Design 2009

Monday, August 31st, 2009

  

 

Ah! What it is to get a bit of attention! Apparently my blog has been nominated for the Best WordPress Design 2009 award. It’s not something I ever heard of before, so I’ve no idea how good it might be - but hey - you marketers out there know that there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?

 

So get onto http://www.fresheventure.com/best-wordpress-design-2009-contest-page/ and vote for your favourite (that would be me!).

 

Or Tweet your vote (on Twitter I’m “MegaPotential”), or Facebook, or whatever way takes your fancy.  I’ll let you know the outcome.

 

Tags: blog design, bloggers, blogging, contests, wordpress
Posted in Creativity, Motivation | 3 Comments »

The Great thing about Holidays

Monday, August 17th, 2009

Holidays

… is that you get away from everything that is usual and “normal” in your life.  It’s the most fantastic chance we have for self development.  It gives us the opportunity to change our outlook on things in our lives.

 

I always find when I come from holidays (in fact even before I get home I find) I’m planning new things.  I might think of a new layout for the furniture in my office or home.  I might develop a new way to approach a certain client, or situation.  I might decide to repaint the living room to get a whole new perspective on things.  And that’s really what holidays do for me - in terms of my personal growth, they give me a change of perspective.

This year, when we came home from holidays, my husband said it had been like having “time off from the recession”.  Because the recession is one thing - and it’s effects are very real.  But the media “moan-fest” that goes on about it is entirely another thing.  It’s like a big bandwagon all of its own.  It’s a huge “ain’t it awful” circus that feeds itself on people’s misery.  It’s a way of looking at it.

 

So time off from that was a real treat.  And y’know what?  The world still turned while we were away; the economists still wrung their hands; the unemployed were still unemployed; those in difficulty were still in difficulty - but the ones reporting it seemed to be having the time of their lives picking over the troubles of everyone else.  That’s just their way of looking at it.

 

I’m very thankful that I had the opportunity to get away from it all for a few weeks.  The situation didn’t change, but my view of it did.  And that’s the point.  When we look at some event in our lives that is causing us difficulty, it can be hard to separate the event from our reaction to it.  What’s really happening is that a certain event takes place - then - we have a reaction to it.  If we get to take a step back, a pause, a holiday - and choose a different reaction, then we have power over the outcome.

 

For example, if someone loses their job, that is a very real event.  It has effects and consequences.  But whether you deal with it as (i) a disaster from which you will never recover, or (ii) an unexpected event which may force you to look at things in a new way - is up to you.  One will give you a miserable, self-defeating attitude, the other will give you a chance for personal development (albeit not looked for), to look at where your strengths lie and present yourself in a new way.  Losing your job is the fact.  How you deal with it is where your power lies.

 

It brings me back to the benefit of holidays.  It gives us that break, that pause, in which to look at things in a new way.  Happy holidays!

 

Tags: Attitudes, Change, Self Development
Posted in Creativity, Human Behaviour, Motivation, Self Development | 1 Comment »

May Feelgood Task

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

Sunflower

This month, why not make a list of all the things you can do for free?  Let’s keep this clean, people!  I mean all the events/places you can attend free-of-charge.  We sometimes forget, when times are a bit “challenging” that there are still ways of having fun and enjoying ourselves without shelling out a fortune.

 

Here’s a start:

1. Find out what galleries/museums have free entry.
2. Make a picnic and take it to the park instead of going to a restaurant.
3. Challenge your friends to a competition e.g. frisbee, football, beach volleyball, boules.
4. Arrange a meal where everyone brings a different course and BYOB (Bring Your Own Bottle).
5. Drive outside the city lights at night and look at the stars.
6. Visit your botanical gardens (in many cities these have free entry) and enjoy the fruits of someone else’s hard work.

I think you get the idea.  Maybe none of these is your particular favourite, but I know there are easy, inexpensive treats we can all avail of, if we put our minds to it.  One of mine is playing “Risk” with the family (it’s a board game based on world domination!) great for unleashing hidden megalomaniac in all of us!

 

When you have your list made, start putting them into practice, and have fun!

 

Let me know what you’re favourites are.  I’ll put some in next month’s newsletter.

 

Tags: Family, Feelgood Tasks, Friends
Posted in Creativity, Family, Feelgood Tasks | 1 Comment »

So What’s NLP all about?

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

Neuro-Linguistic Programming

I’ve been proud to claim that I am a qualified Master Practitioner of NLP, and to say that I use NLP skills in my life-coaching in order to help clients make positive changes in their lives easily and effectively.  Responses to this vary.  People in the personal development field nod knowingly, or raise their eyebrows questioningly.  Those outside the coaching or therapy professions often wonder what it is but don’t want to appear lacking by admitting they don’t know.

 

And then there’s the ordinary guy in the street, John Doe, Joe Public or - here in Ireland - Sean Citizen.  I love you and hate you - all Johns, Joes and Seans.  I love you because you come right out and ask “What the hell is that when it’s at home?”.  I hate you for that very same reason.  How on earth do I explain NLP?

 

First of all it stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  When I heard that first I thought “Ya wha’ Gay?” and I have to say it still causes me to stop and rack my brains.  Richard Bandler, one of the co-creators (with John Grinder) of NLP, defines it in a recent book as:

 

“NLP is an attitude, methodology and technology that teaches people how to improve the quality of their lives.  It is an educational tool that teaches people how to communicate more effectively with themselves and others.  It is designed to help people have personal freedom in the way they think, feel and behave.”

 

For me the most informative part of that explanation of NLP is “teaches people how to communicate more effectively with themselves” because that’s how change comes about in our own lives.  Someone else telling you to give up smoking, get over your fears, pull yourself together and make the changes - is NEVER going to work.  But if we can get inside our own thinking and find out how to communicate with ourselves how much we WANT to give up smoking, or how there has been a perfectly good reason for having fear in the past but now we want a new way of believing and thinking - imagine how much we could improve our lives every day!

 

That’s what I love about NLP.  It’s about story telling.  It’s about the stories we tell others about ourselves, and more importantly, it’s about the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.

 

I think it’s telling that Bandler and Grinder called it Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) because their own background was in technology and linguistics.  But as a term, it doesn’t explain itself to the ordinary punter very well.

 

As I said earlier, for me NLP is about stories.  We hear, create and learn stories and patterns of behaviour from the moment we’re born.  We hear that we are “the cutest baby”, “just like your Daddy” etc. all harmless enough.  When we’re older we learn “if you don’t eat up all your dinner you won’t grow up big and strong” which in our own mind can translate into food being a contentious issue.  We learn “don’t talk to strangers” which can translate into a lack of trust in people and a difficulty in making new friendships.

 

I’m not trying to sound like everything we hear is bad, but we hear a “story” then we tell ourselves a “story” and pretty soon we have formed a pattern around it, and forget the original story.  Our personality development is filled with patterns we adopt based on the stories we’re believing.

 

I used to have a fear of dogs.  Now that may have stemmed from an incident with a dog when I was tiny, or it might have been an imagined drama that I created in my own mind.  I don’t remember.  But for the rest of my life I was left with a fear of dogs, that - at its worst - meant that I wouldn’t go outside the door on my own and couldn’t even enjoy a walk.

 

I went to a therapist to help that.  Turns out it’s not stemming from a fear of dogs, but a fear of being alone.  But that’s another story!

 

The great thing is we can decide or choose - at any time - to believe a different story!  This is the genuine magic of Neuro Linguistic Programming.  When an NLP practitioner listens to us telling our stories, they can see what language we use to tell ourselves stories.  They can then speak our language back to us and help us to choose a more useful story for our lives.

 

In one line - what’s the best thing about NLP?  NLP is about finding and choosing the most useful beliefs, stories and patterns to live the life we want for ourselves.  Apologies to Richard Bandler, John Grinder and my tutors Owen Fitzpatrick and Brian Colbert if I’ve just negated all your years of training me!

 

To get NLP straight from the horse’s mouth, check out www.nlp.ie and www.richardbandler.com .

 

Tags: Behaviour, Beliefs, Change, Coaching, NLP
Posted in Beliefs & Values, Creativity, Human Behaviour, NLP, Self Development | 2 Comments »

What’s the opposite of Gloom and Doom?

Friday, March 13th, 2009

Gloom and Doom

How many times a day do you hear or read those words?  People even say it to each other when they meet.  It’s becoming a catchphrase.  Now, if you’re reading this, you’re probably a positive thinking person.  Maybe you do affirmations, positive visualizations, sending good wishes and thoughts out into the world or universe when you meditate or pray.  That’s great.  But what are you doing the rest of the time?

 

You all know the belief that we get what we focus on, right?  Well if you are positive thinking at specific times each day, but then meeting your friends or neighbours and doing the “Ain’t if awful” conversation, which are you doing more of?  Will your one hour’s meditation swing it against the three hours you moaned with your friends about the economy, the banks, the unemployment etc.?  I’m not saying stick your head in the sand and ignore it.  It’s real.  It’s happening.

 

But looking only at the bad means that we focus on the bad.  And if you believe that you get more of what you focus on … what do you think you’ll get?  A pay rise?  An offer of a great new job?  A big lotto win?  I don’t think so.

 

So, even when things globally look bad, or perhaps even moreso when they look bad, we need to focus on positive things.  They are always there.  Maybe we have to look harder.  For starters, lots of things have actually come down in price.  Lots of foodstuffs are cheaper than before the recession.  Buying locally can help support your own community.  Petrol (depending on where in the world you live) is cheaper than it was (though it’s creeping up again I notice).  For some people their mortgages are coming down.

 

So can we look at the real things please?  Have you lost your job?  No?  Then look out for ways you can support jobs in your neighbourhood.  That can be anything from paying a neighbour’s kid to mow your lawn or wash your car to employing local workers to build your house extension.  If you still have enough money coming in, try to spend it in your community and support your local economy.

 

And my favourite - barter!  I’m a big fan of exchange.  You can exchange goods e.g. why not have a “garage swap” instead of a “garage sale”?  If you have a service that you provide, why not exchange it for services others provide?  I don’t think there’s any law against it (if you know otherwise, please let me know because I’ll be in big trouble!).  It’s a fair exchange of services.  No money involved.  Just people helping each other out.

 

And finally, or perhaps it should be first, gratitude.  I know you’ll say it’s all Pollyanna-ish, and new-age, but there are always things you can be grateful for.  Start with the obvious - if you have good health, be grateful for that.  If you’re well enough to have a job in the first place you’re better off than people who were already unemployed and now have little or no hope of work.  If you can no longer afford to eat out, be grateful that you have friends that you can arrange dinner parties with.  Take turns to have dinner in different houses maybe once a month or so.  You may find that your friendships broadens through meeting new people at house parties.

 

I could devote an entire newsletter to “Things to be grateful for”, but you know the best ones in your own life.  If you’d like to share your favourite ones with me, I’ll be delighted.

 

Tags: Beliefs, Community, Human Behaviour, Positive Mental Attitude
Posted in Beliefs & Values, Career, Confidence, Creativity, Human Behaviour, Motivation, Self Development, Self Esteem, Work/Life Balance | No Comments »

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