I know a lot of women who are going crazy.  You might say “It takes one to know one”.  And, on this occasion, I would definitely have to agree.  Y’see I’m meeting a lot of women whose families are grown, or in college, or gaining their independence day by day.  I’m seeing women who are in a position to evaluate where they are in their lives.

 

That sounds very positive, doesn’t it?  But on the ground, in the ordinary everyday-ness of life, what it really amounts to is a sense of bewilderment.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  This is not all women, and not all of the time.  But there is definitely a huge readjustment to be done when the job you’ve been doing for the past twenty years or so is suddenly surplus to requirements!  It would be very easy for me to say “Blah Blah Blah Challenge”; “Blah Blah Opportunity”, but that’s not going to help you deal with it, or even accept it.

 

That brings me to the first important thing - you’ve got to accept it.  Acknowledge that it is happening.  It is valid.  You have spent a huge chunk of your life giving your time, energy, genius, nourishment, caring and love to other people.  Now - if you’ve done your job well, they need your time (but never your love) less.  You haven’t suddenly become useless.  You just need to take time to take stock of your life.  It’s one of those big, life-changing-direction type of phases.  Sometimes it feels like being a teenager again, except that in mid-life, you feel you should know better!

 

Marianne Williamson (in her book “The Age of Miracles”) refers to “personal excavation” at this time, to release the baggage of the past and create the life you want for the future. 

 

Don’t mind that this video clip is a promo for her book.  Ignore that - she still has some interesting things to say about this time of life.

 

 

 

What can you begin to do about it?  Benefit from it?  Make it a useful phase from which to grow? 

 

My suggestion is to admit it to yourself.  Admit to it with those you love.  Tell it like it is.  “I’m finding that, having done my job as well as I could for years, I’m not sure what my job is anymore.  I’m feeling confused about my role, sometimes insecure about my future, and it can be frightening.  I really need you to try to understand and support me while I make adjustments in my life.  I need your patience and your love, because -just as beginning the journey of commitment and family was a big, important step for me in the past - this step of commitment to myself and my future is important too.”

 

Now give yourself time to be in this space of change.  Deepak Chopra talks about the “Wisdom of Uncertainty” and I can understand what he means.  But often, it scares the crap out of me!  So - just because I’m suggesting you give yourself space to be uncertain, I’m not saying it will be easy.  I understand what it’s like.  Let’s go for it!

 

I’m sitting waiting for the web designer to phone so that we can finalise the look and feel of my new website and blog. Soon I will be blogging for real, and not just for myself. It’s a bit daunting. After all - someone might read it - and learn something about me that I didn’t realise I had displayed. A friend of mine already reads my newsletters and says that, for her, she finds out more about me by my writing than she does about the articles in the newsletter. Hmmm. So this could just be a public humiliation exercise? Well, I won’t know till I try.

 

I haven’t told you before, but I joined Toastmasters in September. I really needed to get over my anxiety about speaking in front of a group. I’m fine on the old one-to-one, but I’ve a certain fear of standing up in front of people, being watched, and trying to put words together that sound better than “Hi, I thting’d jdfioej difj enkerjiem mmmmmmmmm.” Bet you didn’t know I knew that language??

 

I’ve already done Poetmaster once, and am doing it again tonight. I’ve chosen a poem by David Whyte called “Everything is Waiting for You”. You can hear David talking about this poem and reciting it here

 

 

Don’t mind about the images, it’s the words and the sound of David Whyte’s voice, reading his own work, that is compelling.

 

Enjoy.

 

Well, so far I have displayed my self-doubt and stuggling-perfectionist issues for all the world to see. I have passed on gems of wisdom I have picked up from my own coach. And all that by 15th January!

 

Today I’m going to share with you that most precious gift of humanity - laughter. I don’t know if you guys know Eddie Izzard the comedian? But this is a sketch he does about the canteen on the Death Star (if you’re not a Star Wars fan - you’re already lost).

 

 

 

 

Have a laugh. And if you want to see how some clever kid made a Lego film to go with the dialogue of this, have a look at this

 

 

 

 

Enjoy your day!