I’m a person who likes to be useful, to be needed.  In my own family I would feel positively unloved if I thought my parents, siblings, children, even nieces and nephews - couldn’t rely on me for support and comfort.  I don’t quite hijack people in  order to help them, but sometimes it comes close!

 

It’s no surprise then that I’m involved in an area of work that requires me to be of help and support to people.  However, as in my personal life, I do draw the line at hijacking people in order to help them.

 

I was talking to a fellow Toastmaster recently who didn’t know a lot about life coaching, but knew it was becoming a bit of a buzz word.  She asked me if I thought she needed coaching.  When I asked her how her life was, she said it was fine.  She is a wonderfully positive, kind, generous, organised and generally (it seems to me) a very happy woman.  I said “What on earth would you need a life coach for?”

 

It got me thinking about my profession, life coaching.  There is a danger out there that people are being encouraged to believe that their lives are unfulfilled, that there is something missing, that they’re not achieving what they might.  In order to “sell” the idea of life coaching, there is a more hardline approach of selling the idea that people need it.  Clearly this is true in many cases, but certainly not all.

 

In my line of work, my aim is for my clients NOT to need me!  That is the goal of my life coaching.  I want them to see that they have control of, and responsibility for, their own lives and choices.  I applaud the client who contacts me for coaching when they are in a phase where they need (or would benefit from) a coach; when they want a non-judgemental, supportive person who can question, coax, comfort and challenge them through that phase.  I’m delighted when it becomes obvious to both of us that they no longer require regular sessions.

 

I would not be helping them, or my profession, if I were to hang on to them as a client simply to be my meal ticket.  Or if I had attracted them in the first place by convincing my customers that their lives were unfulfilled, just so that I could help them to fulfill imaginary gaps in their lives.

 

I suggest that people consider life coaching as they would any other trade or profession.  When you need a plumber, you call a plumber.  When your pipes are fixed, you don’t keep arranging to meet the plumber.  When you need a lawyer, you hire one.  When your legal requirement is dealt with, you say “Thanks very much” and “Goodbye”.  I realise that, even in these professions, there are doomsayers who would try to convince you that you do need more lagging for your pipes, more insulation, to sue your neighbour, to claim against the council etc.  You can’t stop this type of marketing, but you can be aware of it.

 

Immediately I have to step in on my own conversation at this point and declare that I know that most coaches (and other professionals) do not do this.  However, you will all be aware of the growing number of ads, e-mails, flyers etc. that try to convince the reader that there is something wrong with the way they are right now.  That may not be the case.  There is much you can do to help yourself.  There are books, CDs, DVDs, free workshops and webinars, all of which can help you “self-coach” (which is something we do every day of our lives, I believe).

 

Then if, or when, you feel you need an ally, a support, a life coach - that’s the time to investigate who suits you and what programme will help you.

 

Sorry for having a bit of a rant, but it’s something I feel strongly about in my work.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.