I am really interested in self development, as you know, and love to read up on development tools and techniques all the time.  When I can, I like to attend talks given by leaders in the field of personal development.  I was at a seminar years ago, given by Hale Dwoskin (The Sedona Method), here in Ireland.  There was one moment I remember very clearly, like a moment of revelation.  You may know the Sedona method and the way of asking yourself the three questions:

 

“Could I let go of this feeling?”

 

“Would I let go of this feeling?”

 

and

 

“When?”

 

When I heard him say them first, I thought they were simplistic to the point of idiocy.  How wrong I was!  Hale started by asking us to bring to mind a way of feeling or reacting that we had, that was unpleasant and harmful to ourselves.  Something we felt we had no control over e.g. feeling really angry about something that had happened in the past, or someone who pushed our buttons and made us feel mad every time we met them.

 

I thought of a particular piece of “baggage” I was carrying from my past.  I felt powerless to dump it, it seemed to have come from my past and I was busy dragging it into my future too.

 

First question: “Could I let go of this feeling?” I asked myself.  Well, of course I could.  You don’t think I want this bad feeling, do you?  I’d get rid of it at the drop of a hat.

 

Second question: “Would I let go of this feeling?”  Was I willing to let this feeling go?  Yes!  Just show me how and it’ll be gone, I promise you.  Yes, I would definitely let go of this if I could.

 

Third question: “When?”  Interesting here.  When I asked myself this question, the immediate response I got, deep in my mind, before I even formed the thought - was - “As soon as I have something else to put in its place.” 

 

That really got me thinking.  Somehow, even though I felt that I could and would get rid of this unwanted baggage, there was also a part of me so used to it that I wouldn’t give it up - unless I had something to replace it with.

 

I looked at this in various ways.  One thing I could do would be to replace it immediately with a good feeling, or positive thought.  Then, whenever I was going to feel the old baggage feeling, I could instead feel the good feeling.  I thought about how I could motivate myself to do this any time I had an unwanted negative feeling.  Then I wondered why I had to replace it at all.  Why could I not just get rid of it, let it go?

 

And you know, the interesting thing then was that, it seemed that once I had acknowledged it happening at all, I didn’t make the old link any more.  D’you know what I mean?  It was like I couldn’t run that old programme anymore.  I had been found out - by me!  So, for that particular thought/feeling pattern, the link was broken.

 

I don’t always remember to use the Sedona method any time I have a negative pattern to break, but it has proved very useful and effective to me in the past.

 

Just thought I’d share that with you.  Hope it helps you too.

 

If you’re anything like me, you have floor to ceiling bookcases filled with self development books, CDs and DVDs.  You’re actively seeking out more information to help you with your growth and self development.  Are you ever satisfied?  Unlikely. 

 

What can you do about it?  How can you change?  How do you stay motivated?  And where do you begin?

 

Good luck!