What resolutions did you make for this year?  How many of them are still on the go?  How many have been shelved by about, oh I’m guessing, the end of January?  Don’t hang your heads!  It’s the most normal thing in the world.  I’m going to share something with you.  Some of my regular readers will know this already.  It’s no secret.  I don’t make New Year Resolutions.  That’s right.  Never.  As far as I’m concerned every day of the year is the start of a new 12 month period.  I don’t particularly hold January 1st in any special esteem.  What I do love about Jan. 1st is watching the New Year’s Day concert from Vienna, Austria.  I watch it on television every year.  Have done since I was a kid.  I love it.  For me, New Years Day is about getting up on time to make a pot of tea and settle down to watch and listen to the concert.  It transports me to that beautiful city, and begins my year with music, beauty and joy.  And it costs me nothing but the licence fee.

 

But what of resolutions?  I said that I don’t make New Year Resolutions, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t set goals for myself at any time of year.  I’m trying Jack Canfield’s quarterly goal setting, this year.  With it, I choose one important goal that will improve my life.  I commit to forming the new habit over three months.  By then it should be part of my normal way of doing things, I will have formed a new, positve habit.  Then I choose a new one for the next quarter.

 

For this quarter I decided to improve my time-keeping.  I have been a poor time keeper most of my life.  Ask my sister.  Ask anyone who has ever arranged to meet me at a precise time.  I can even manage to be late when I give myself time to spare.  Because if I have time to spare, I’ll try to cram in something else and still end up late for my appointment!  So - for me - improving my time-keeping would be a major step forward

 

How have I been doing?  Well, I’ve discovered that to be on time for things, I really need to think much farther ahead than I usually do.  For instance, if I am due to meet you for lunch tomorrow, I have to start thinking about it today.  Now, for those of you who are good time-keepers, this is no surprise.  But for me, my logic was that - if it’s tomorrow that I’m meeting you, then tomorrow is when I’ll think about it.  You’ve spotted where this is going.  When tomorrow comes, I have too little time to decide where to meet, what to wear, whether to drive or take the train, how to also fit in my usual mom-tasks etc.  So I used to end up rushing, last minute, no make-up, feeling flustered and hopeless and angry with myself for being late yet again.

 

Now I can’t say I’m excellent yet, but I’ve found out something important, which is relevant to New Year resolutions too.  Forgiveness.  This quarter is my time-keeping quarter.  I’m making great improvements in my time management.  But if I still end up late for an appointment, for some reason - I FORGIVE MYSELF.  That’s the important part.  I don’t beat myself up.  I don’t negative-talk myself.  I don’t say “Oh no.  I’ve failed again.  I knew I was no good at this.  I can never be on time.”

 

What I DO say is - “I can see how it happened that I was late this time.  I can use that knowledge so that next time I won’t be late.  I’m doing the best I can and I’m proud of that.”

 

Tell me - what do you say to yourself when you slip up?  If you’ve already dropped some of your resolutions, was it because after one slip you told yourself you had failed and there was no point in keeping it up?  How much easier is it going to be to keep a resolution if you’re constantly encouraging and forgiving yourself? 

 

Try it for yourself.  Take one of your resolutions that has lapsed.  Or one you’re struggling with.  Start today.  Make sure that it’s an achievable and desirable goal, put all your previous attempts behind you and begin afresh.  Forgive yourself.  Congratulate yourself for all the effort you’ve already put into it.  Resolve to forgive yourself if you make any slip ups.  Take it one day at a time.  Let me know how you get on.